The Netrebko rules.

Blogger Carlos, owner of the "Anna Netrebko" blog, sent this list of "Netrebko rules" to Parsifal's, and i could't miss the chance of translating it for non-spanish speakers. So, here they are:

The Netrebko rules

A guide to successful writing on Anna Netrebko

1. Don’t ever mention her as just Anna Netrebko, use expressions like La Netrebka, La Treb, or similar. This way you will give an iconoclastic and modern impression.

2. Drop Callas' name and say that Netrebko is light years away from la Callas. This always seems to have success and it ‘ll make you look as an expert.

3. If she had to cancel some performance due to illness, take advantage in order to give the impression that Netrebko cancels as much as she sings.

4. Write some comment regarding her beauty and make sure to note that, as the whole world knows, beautiful singers do NOT sing well and how manipulated are the ones who think that in fact beautiful singers can also sing beautifully.

5. YOU are the one who knows what she can or what she cannot sing. Be categorical and tell her what must be her repertoire in the years to come.

6. If in some performance you actually liked her, just pretend! Nobody ‘s gonna notice it. Think for a while before writing, it’s more than sure that you ‘ll find something bad to write.

7. When you buy tickets ‘cause you’re dying to see her in London, for example, and you want to announce it to your friends, look out! it’s a difficult situation! You can use expressions like “today I did the silliest thing, I bought tickets to go and see her in London”, or “I’m gonna be sorry for this…”. Nobody is going to believe that you are desperate for seeing her but…i ‘ve already said it, it’s a difficult situation. The best thing would be to not even mention it, or just claim that you were in London for shopping, that you did not have anything else to do, that you happened to be around the Royal Opera House and that you bought tickets without even knowing who is singing.